The difference between good intentions and good actions = understanding, humility, and empathy

share save 171 16 The difference between good intentions and good actions = understanding, humility, and empathy

There are many saying about how many “evil actions” have been the result of goodDSC01301 300x200 The difference between good intentions and good actions = understanding, humility, and empathy intentions. So how are we to know if our actions are good? Are there actions which are indisputably wrong and indisputably right? Instead of going into a heady philosophical investigation as to why good and bad are infinitely one, inseparable, and transient constructs of the collective… let us move forward with some thoughts on how to ensure that your good intentions can do better at manifesting  good actions.

To clarify the point of this post let me fill you in on what I am talking about in relation to intentions. In my experience as a therapist I have never met a bad or evil person… though I have met many people who have engaged in bad behavior (physically, socially or emotionally destructive actions). Often the good intention behind bad behavior stems from a person’s drive to heal their own suffering… healing suffering is the good intention… creating suffering for others is a very common resulting action.

The people who decide that wars should be fought generally have “good intentions”… they want more of a positive resource, justice, felt security etc…  In every war these intentions always lead to inhumane actions which tend to inflict the most suffering on women and children.

People have always held the good intention of spreading the lessons from their religions which have been spiritually helpful to them… this is a wonderful and positive intention. Yet throughout history genocide, war, slavery etc. have been the result of these good intentions which utilized hurtful behaviors.

What was missing in all these “good intentions”?

We must let our action be guided by understanding, compassion, and empathy… and we will need the humility to do so.

If we have a good intention to help a person we must first understand how that person would feel as a result of our “help”. Without this understanding it is quite possible that we would not be helping at all.

People have often described empathy as “putting yourself in another person’s shoes”… this is quite helpful for the statement’s simplicity, and the point mostly gets across that we should think of how another would react to our actions.

The problem with this definition of empathy as it related to intentions concern the ego…

Our egos are our opinions, sense of permanent self, beliefs, thoughts, personalities etc… If I asked who you are, your answer would be terms which would be describing your ego.

If you put your ‘ego’ into another person’s shoes then you will be sensing how you would feel in their situation as opposed to what they would feel in their situation.

I know that this is semantically confusing…

This is where humility becomes a key ingredient in deducing whether or not an action is good. We must be humble enough to acknowledge that we do not definitively know what good is without gathering information from the moment.

By simply engaging a situation with pure acceptance… an acceptance which is absent of the judgments, beliefs, opinions etc. of your ego… you can offer true empathy… you can know how they feel as they are as opposed to simply knowing how you would feel if you were them.

Is assessing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ it is useful to utilize your feelings… does the action feel right?

Ration can be a very helpful way of trying to understand the world… and it is not always the best tool for deciphering right and wrong… many of the most horrific actions that have been engaged in by humans have been justified with ‘sound’ logic.

The point is that you cannot truly help another person without first understanding them… and to know if they are going to receive your actions as ‘good’ or helpful necessitates that you offer that person genuine empathy.

To truly know another person we must first know ourselves… understanding and accepting our authentic self is a necessary step on the path towards becoming empathetic.

Balancing your pride with humility is another step.

To be ‘good’ requires us to be open and engaged with the moment as opposed to being solely engaged with our principles and beliefs.

This is exceedingly difficult to do in reality and perhaps should be a lifelong goal… if your goal is to find true peace through acceptance.

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Face your Suffering on your way towards Freedom and Balance | The Effects of Resistance

share save 171 16 Face your Suffering on your way towards Freedom and Balance | The Effects of Resistance

Often therapy is a place for people to face their unresolved issues so that they can move forward in their lives with feelings of inner and outer harmony.

100 4777 300x225 Face your Suffering on your way towards Freedom and Balance | The Effects of Resistance

Utilizing energy to “just get over it” suggests that there is something… a feeling… a string of thoughts … a felt sensation that is being denied resolution.

From our cultures we often learn that resistance is the ‘right’, ‘stong’, ‘mature’, ‘masculine’ and ‘rational’ thing to do when faced with difficult emotions (or differing opinion, beliefs, perceptions, customs etc.).

Resistance pushes us to view right and wrong dichotomously, it uses our strength for the process of denial, it inhibits our ability to mature towards acceptance, it manipulates our masculine energy to be rigid and less compassionate, and it inhibits our self-control and ability to choose to act in ways we label as rational.

Resistance restrains our freedom as we find ourselves being unconsciously controlled by that which we resist.

Projection – one of the major ways in which resistance affects our actions is projection. When you deny your suffering you are likely to project that suffering onto other people… you are likely to see your unresolved emotions in the faces of those around you. Example: If a person is repressing feeling foolish for trusting an unfaithful partner they might be highly critical of others who have spouses whom they perceive to be ‘flirty’.

Uncontrollable Anger – frightening outbursts of anger that in no way fit the disappointments of the environment are very often the result of unresolved emotions. Difficult experiences can leave us feeling sad, alone, confused, and lost in a meaningless chaos; when these feelings are left unattended to a person may go through their day in a haze of confused loneliness… when a difficulty arises, they react not only to the specific situation, but also to the pain that they carry for denying the emotions that weigh down their shoulders. We all have a threshold of difficult emotions that we can carry… when we are given another emotion when we are already full, we lose control. Energy is used to deny and repress… when we run out of energy some people will fall into a state of mammalian rage, attacking their environment in a misguided attempt to protect themselves from the emotions they no longer hold the strength to deny. Example: a person feels inadequate for being cut from a sports team… they go home and their partner asks if the remembered to stop and get the milk (he did not remember)… the man goes into a frightening tirade about how the wife “makes him feel.”

Disassociation – People will ‘check out’ and there will be an inconsistency in the way that they are reacting to their environment. In a severe state of disassociation a person will not appear to even be awake… they will be lost in their internally created world (somewhat like a lucid dream) so as to avoid the way that the outer world makes them feel. In a moment of severe trauma, disassociation is possibly a useful adaptation… the person unconsciously knows that the experience is too overwhelming to integrate, so they leave their body. When we continue to deny the emotions that we hold, those emotions can persuade us into a disassociated state though there is not anything too severe in the present environment. Overcoming a trauma will help a person to act congruently with their environment. Ex. A disassociated person might be smiling while they are talking about attending their parent’s funeral… they are quite literally emotionally detached from the present moment.

Addiction – The process of resistance takes an immense amount of energy… it is extremely hard work to deny difficult emotions (ironically way more difficult than facing them). People often seek the assistance of an addiction to aid them in their process of denial. Addictions can numb and distract a person from their emotions… this feels especially good as it reduces the amount of energy a person must allocate to the resistance process. Examples: a person will seek out the comforting and nurturing feelings that accompany the consumption of high calorie foods when they are unable to access those feelings from people in the environment. A person will smoke pot to reduce the ruminating thoughts that surface as a result of unattended stress. A person will drink alcohol to forget about feeling hopeless about employment prospects.

Facing your emotions can look different for different people depending on the situation.

At times the held emotions are too confusing or unorganized and a person needs assistance in finding meaning.

Sometimes an emotion simply requires honest expression from the body… at times a person simply needs to cry to no longer be inhibited by a repressed emotion.

As social animals it is very important for us to feel understood and empathized for by another individual… being empathized for takes away feeling lonely, and can dramatically increase felt security.

Acceptance of an emotion emancipates a person.

A person is free to use their energy in the moment as opposed to using energy to repress their past.

A person is free to engage with their environment as it is in the moment as opposed to having the present moment unconsciously colored by unresolved emotions from the past.

To live in the present moment does not mean that you deny your past or offer inauthentic positivity to what you have experienced… to live in the present moment you must courageously accept your past… to look upon it with openness.

To find balance we must offer observance of all that is on the scale.

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Filed under Addiction, Individual Growth, Philosophy & Theory, Trauma Recovery

Adlerian psychotherapy – an overview

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100 0532 300x225 Adlerian psychotherapy – an overviewQuick Summary: In this post I will be giving an overview of Adlerian psychotherapy, which was one of the first theories in the field.

 

Overview Of Adlerian psychotherapy

 

  • Views the person holistically as a creative, responsible, “becoming” individual moving toward fictional goals within his or her phenomenal field

 

  • One’s life-style is sometimes self-defeating because of inferiority feelings

 

  • The individual with “psychopathology” is discouraged rather than sick

 

  • The therapeutic task is to encourage the person to face his/her difficulties, activate his or her social interest and to develop a new life-style through relationship, analysis, and action.

 

  • The degree of one’s social interest is a measure of his/her health.

 

  • This theory is more socially focused than any other theory

 

  • Believed that people have worth and respect – a very positive focus of human nature

 

  • The theory is concerned with the social influences on the person – a cultural component is included in assessment of all aspects of the client

 

  • It is a bio-psycho-social approach. Adlerians work with behaviors, feelings and thoughts

 

  • Able to incorporate techniques from other theories into our work very easily as an Adlerian. We will see an example of this when we view a video of an Adlerian therapist engaged in therapy with a client later in the hour.

 

  • Research is very favorable to Adlerian work  – supports its efficacy

 

Key Concepts:

View of Human Nature

  • Believed that we form an approach to our life in the first 6 years of living

 

  • Humans are motivated by social relatedness not sexual urges

 

  • Our behavior is purposeful and goal-directed.

 

  • Consciousness, rather than the unconscious is the focus of therapy

 

  • Adler stressed choice, responsibility, striving for success, completion and perfection.

 

  • Focus of the theory is on feelings of inferiority, which is views as a normal condition of all people – and which contributes to our striving in life.

 

  • Adler was the forerunner to a subjective approach to psychology.

 

Lifestyle

  • At the heart of Adlerian counseling and therapy

 

  • Each individual develops a unique lifestyle, which he/she then uses throughout life to work toward his/her goals and to govern his/her life.

 

  • Develops early in life and is influenced by both biology and psychosocial factors.

 

  • An individual uses this “cognitive map” to interpret the world and to interact with it.

 

Subjective Perception of Reality

  • Phenomenological approach, meaning Adlerians strive to understand how client’s view their world

 

  • The client’s subjective reality includes their perceptions, thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, convictions, and conclusions

 

Unity and Patterns of Human Personality

  • Lifestyle – the way in which one approaches the world – is a very important concept in Adlerian therapy

 

  • Personality must be understood within specific familial, social and cultural contexts.

 

  • Adlerian therapy focuses more on interpersonal relationship than on an individual’s internal psychodynamics

 

Social Interest and Community Feeling

  • Refer to individuals’ awareness of being part of the human community and to ones attitudes in dealing wit the social world

 

  • Social interest – includes striving for a better future for humanity

 

Birth Order and Sibling Relationships

  • Because human problems are viewed by Adlerians in a social context, they emphasize intrafamily relationships

 

  • Birth Order is important to Adlerians because it provides them with information regarding the individual’s lifestyle.

 

  • Adler spoke of 5 psychological birth positions:

 

  1. Oldest child
  2. Second child
  3. Middle child
  4. Youngest child
  5. Only child

 

Family Constellation and Atmosphere

 

  • Includes birth order and roles

 

  • Assesses a client’s experience in his/her family and how this influences his/her development and worldview.

 

  • What happens in the family largely determines a person’s early lifestyle beliefs.

 

Mistaken Beliefs

Distorted lifestyle beliefs as a result of what one has concluded about himself/herself and the world are seen as interfering with the person’s healthy growth and development and as being the primary reasons for psychological problems.

Adler listed five kinds of mistaken beliefs:

  1. Overgeneralizations
  2. False or impossible goals of “security”
  3. Misperceptions of life and life’s demands
  4. Minimizations or denial of one’s worth
  5. Faulty values

 

Life Tasks

  • One’s social interests are demonstrated through a series of life tasks.

 

  • Adlerian counseling usually involves work with a client on accomplishing his/her life task(s).

 

  • Adler originally named three:

 

  •  
    1. Society
  • recognizing our interdependence with other members of society

 

  •  
    1. Work
      • part of our contribution to society

 

  •  
    1. Sex

 

  • Later authors (Mosak and Maniacci) identified work into six subtasks:

 

  1. Occupational choice
  2. Occupational preparation
  3. Satisfaction
  4. Leadership
  5. Leisure
  6. Socio-vocational issues (relationships with co-workers)

 

  • Social Task into two subtasks:

 

  •  
    1. Belonging
      • Finding ways to develop a sense of belonging

 

  •  
    1. Transactions
      • Our style of interacting with others

 

  • Defined the Sexual Task:
    1.  
      • Involves sex role definition and identification, sexual development, and sexual behavior

 

  • A Self Task was added with four subcategories:

 

  •  
    1. Survival
    2. Body image
    3. Opinion
    4. Evaluation

 

  • Deciding how we think and feel about ourselves in these terms

 

A Spiritual Task with five categories:

  1. Relationship to God
  2. Religion
  3. Relationship to the universe
  4. Metaphysical issues
  5. The meaning of life

 

And a Parenting and Family Task that involves decisions about:

  1. Parenting
  2. Marriage
  3. Partner relationships
  4. Connections to family members

 


The Therapeutic Process

Therapeutic Goals

  • Primary purpose of therapy is to encourage the client to develop healthier ways of living out who they are.

 

  • Encourage clients to develop social interest, which is a measurement of health.

 

  • Encouragement is used throughout therapy to help the client build self-confidence and stimulate courage.

 

Therapist’s Function and Role

  • To provide encouragement

 

  • To help the client increase his/her self-awareness

 

  • To conduct a comprehensive assessment of the client’s lifestyle by looking at his/her birth order, family constellation, and earliest recognitions.

 

Relationship between Therapist and Client

  • A good therapeutic relationship in Adlerian therapy is collaborative in nature.

 

  • The relationship is based on cooperation, mutual trust, respect, confidence and alignment of goals.

 

  • Goals of therapy are decided collaboratively.

 

  • Clients are considered as active participants in a relationship between equals.

 

Application: Therapeutic Techniques & Procedures

 

Four Phases of the Therapeutic Process:

  • Counseling is structured around four central objectives, which correspond with four phases of the therapeutic process. These are:

 

  1. Establishing a relationship

 

  1. Assessment

 

  1. Encouraging the development of self-awareness (insight)

 

  1. Helping the client make new choices (also called reorientation and reeducation)

 

Phase 1: Establishing a relationship

  • Initial focus of session is on the person, not the problem

 

  • Expressing genuine interest in the person through active listening.

 

  • The therapist seeks to build a positive relationship with the client through listening, responding, demonstrating respect for his/her capacity to understand purpose and seek change, exhibiting faith, hope, empathy, and caring.

 

  • Therapist attempts to understand the client’s world from his/her subjective perspective.

 

Phase 2: Assessment

  • Involves a subjective interview and an objective interview, which are intertwined.

 

  • The subjective interview involves facilitating the client to share his/her story as completely as possible by showing empathic listening, interest, and response.

 

  • Intertwined in the subjective interview is the objective interview which involves specific questions designed to assess:

 

  •  
    • How problems in the client’s life began
    • Any precipitating events
    • A medical history
    • A social history
    • The reason the client chose to enter therapy at this time
    • The person’s ability to cope with life tasks
    • A lifestyle assessment

 

The lifestyle assessment includes:

-         Birth order

-         Family Constellation and Atmosphere

Assesses relationships between family members as well as roles and rules within the family

-         Early Recollections

Phase 3: Encouraging Self-Understanding and Insight

  • Insight is very important in Adlerian therapy

 

  • Defined as understanding (of motivations that operate in one’s life) translated into constructive action

 

  • Reflects a client’s understanding of the purposive nature of behavior, as well as awareness of the hidden purposes and goals of their own behavior.

 

  • Adlerian therapists facilitate this insight mainly by well-timed interpretations.

 

Phase 4: Helping with Reorientation

 

  • Action oriented phase where insight is put into action

 

  • Client is encouraged and challenged to take risks in life in order to make change by connecting to the strengths they have within themselves, to others, and to life.

 

  • During reorientation clients are also encouraged to self-monitor and catch themselves when they are repeating old patterns. 

 

  • The therapist works with the client to identify alternatives to ineffective behavior, evaluate those alternatives then decide on a specific plan of action.

 

Techniques

 

  • Encouragement:
  •  
    • Important in all phases of therapy. Involves offering hope, empathy, and understanding to client.

 

  • “Spitting in the Client’s soup”:

 

  •  
    • Involves exposing the client’s intentions in such a way as to make them unpalatable.

 

  • Acting “as if”:

 

  •  
    • Asking the client to as “as if” for the next week in response to their expression of “If only I could”.

 

  • Catching oneself:

 

  •  
    • Once the client has made personal goals and wants to change, they are instructed to catch themselves “with their hands in the cookie jar”.

 

  • The Push-Button Technique

 

  • Helps clients realize that they create their own emotions and are not merely victims to them.

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What is a systemic approach in psychotherapy? Family systems theory intervention

share save 171 16 What is a systemic approach in psychotherapy? Family systems theory intervention

100 4802 300x225 What is a systemic approach in psychotherapy? Family systems theory interventionThe major difference between Family therapy and individual therapy is something called systems theory… therapist using such an approach are said to look at problems and solution systemically. In viewing a problem systemically a therapist will look at all the factors which bear some relation to the reported symptoms… ‘Factors’ could be family members, friends, culture, communication dynamics, the education system, the natural environment etc.

Ecology is a systems theory… Ecologists study the relationships between organisms and other environmental variables within an ecosystem. If one organism in an ecosystem was dying off, an ecologist would look at all the different variables that could be affecting the organism such as, climate change, introduction of a non-native species, the wellbeing of the organism’s food source etc. If the scientist were not using a systemic approach, she would study the organism in isolation or separate from environmental variables.

A Systemic family therapy intervention functions quite the same… If an teen was suffering from depression, the therapist would investigate all the factors which are effecting the symptom of depression such as the teen’s relationship with his family, the marital satisfaction of the teen’s parents, the structure (such as hierarchies and coalitions) of the family system, the dynamics (such as communication patterns) of the family, the teens relationship with friends, access to activities etc.

In many individual models, such as the western medical model, symptoms are looked at solely in relation to an individual and the resulting intervention looks at removing the problem from the individual.

Examples: if an individual has cancer the intervention is to cut out the cancer, if an individual has depression you intervene to remove the symptom. If a teen is smoking pot you create a plan to get the teen to stop smoking pot… the intervention focuses entirely on a single individual.

A systemic model would propose that it is most effective to offer assistance to both the individual and the various systems in which the individual lives (examples of systems: a family is a system, a congregation is a system, a group of classmates is a system, the climate is a system, the population of a country is a system etc.)

Examples:  If an individual has a cancer the solution would involve influencing the environmental variables which promote cancer while also increasing environmental supports which are correlated with recovery. If a teen were to be a smoking pot the systemic therapist would look to positively influence the environmental variables which may be correlated with pot use (ex. Stressful home environment, lack of extracurricular activities, lack of challenge or a felt sense of purpose in the community, glorification of usage by adults for reasons of profit etc.)

Systems theory suggests that we look at problems collectively as opposed to scapegoating an individual… this reduces defensiveness which generally offers more motivation to the change process.

What is your opinion?… if your family was having struggles would you rather everyone collaborated in creating positive change, or would you believe it to be most effective to isolate a ‘problematic’ individual and focus all attention on ‘fixing’ that person.

People are not problems, and sometimes groups of people find themselves in less functional structural and dynamic patterns which are less effective at promoting collectively empathetic behavior.

A symptom becomes problematic when the system is not able to successfully accommodate the needs of that symptom.

There is a retort to systems theory which suggests that systemic theory does not take into consideration the reality of severe mental and physical illness… in other words, the systemic approach is said to be unobservant of the importance of diagnosis in its’ efforts to avoid individual labeling.

My suggested response – Systems theory observes that reality holds many different irregularities that may be given labels for proper intervention from the medical community… and yet this does not negate the system suggestion that whether a label is assigned or not, a system can always find ways of improving so as to accommodate the potential of all of its’ labeled individuals.

In short, a label does not necessarily lend to the most effective set of solutions if the entire system is not called upon to adapt and resolve.

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Filed under Therapy Explained, Simplified, and Un-Jargoned, Types of Psychotherapy